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Thursday, May 31, 2012

On Miscarriage and Loss, part 3

This is going to be a heavy, sad week on my blog. I understand if this is too heavy to read, but I truly feel compelled to share my story. When I went through my miscarriage, I needed to hear other women’s stories…to hear about their pain, but also about their healing.

Many friends and family members offered to take my boys any time I needed it, but what I needed most was normalcy. I still broke down randomly and bawled, but at least I could hold my boys and be constantly reminded why on earth I had ever wanted to become pregnant. I needed to do the laundry and dishes; to feel like I had some control over my life.

The week after my ultrasound I went in for the D&C. It was very similar to Jessie Leigh’s experience and I used her post to help me know what to expect. As we drove to the hospital, I turned to my husband and said “it feels like I’m going to a funeral.” There were tears, there were comforting hugs from my husband and the nurses…there was healing.

For me, the D&C provided closure. I could finally move to the next stage of my life…for 5 weeks I had been living with the fear of losing my baby, and later the knowledge that I had lost my baby.

2 comments:

  1. Oh, Judy... my heart is aching. I am so deeply sorry for the passing of your beautiful baby. I, too, lived with the weeks of fear, of knowing that something might not be right, but still clinging to hope. It's a hard, hard journey. Know that you will be in my prayers and that I wish so much I could give you a hug. I'm glad you experienced some closure through having the D&C... I understand that. xo- JessieLeigh

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  2. I believe sharing your story will also be apart of your healing as well as helping someone else heal.

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